09 Nov To have a Bipolar Disorder and Not Understood is a sad thing!
Narrated by Njeri Macharia(Victim)
I have been bed ridden for 2 days now and you don’t wanna know what has been going on in my head. On the bright side, I slept for 20 hrs…not straight but every time I would wake up I would force myself to go back to sleep, counting sheep, am kidding, just closed my eyes and let my brain wonder till I would fall asleep. I haven’t eaten in 2 days too just because I can’t get my ass outa bed and go make something. I think my body has adapted such that hunger is the least of my problem. Let’s not even talk of hygiene…
My friend came over to bring me books so I won’t get bored, happy to finally be able to borrow and exchange books. Anyway that’s beside the point…so he asked me this question, “what’s the first thing that’s comes up to mind when you wake up and the last thing when you are going to bed?” and I said ” Please shoot me in the head (morning) and God I hope I don’t wake up tomorrow (night)…read this as every time I sleep and wake up, whether it’s at night or during the day. Whether I was having a good day or a bad day. It’s so obvious for the bad days why I would have such thoughts but even for the good days I still do because am scared of letting go and closing my eyes, am never really sure how I will be feeling when I open them.
ION: He just laughed at how much time I take to process stuff. Whether it’s going to the shop or making a cup of coffee, I stress out and it takes close to an hour and sometimes I won’t even do it. I have dirty dishes I had to put outside at the balcony because they have been lying around for a week and the house was beginning to look like a pig sty.
See what my mama has to deal with.
Please do what you can to sensitize people about Bipolar Disorder. It’s a normal condition. Njeri’s