By Susan Wawira

“Neighbors wake up and help me, please neighbors, he wants to kill me, please mzee do not kill me! Don’t pick up that metal bar please, don’t harm me,” were the yells and wails of a woman in torment, a woman in danger, crying out for a warm-hearted neighbor to rush for her rescue. At first I was startled. I thought I was in a dreadful dream, but no, what I heard was literally real. At that late hour of the night, I could not believe that a husband had decided to teach his wife an unforgettable lesson.

So I was overwhelmed by fear and confusion. Yes, I could’ve acted like an immediate neighbor, since a good neighbor is the one who is quick to help, but I was afraid. The room was locked from inside. I remained on my bed, but my eyes wide open and ears alert, curiosity killing me. I wanted to hear well what the commotion, violence entailed.

I heard “give me my money, or else I kill you!” “I don’t have any money apart from the one hundred and fifty you had given me” the woman pleaded. The man was furious; he accelerated his beating as the woman yelled with despicable pains and a lot of regrets.

Later on we learnt the truth of the matter and the core of the violence. They had met that evening and decided to go to the man’s house. But then what happened? I guess you all know exactly what the reason of the battle was. The woman was a gold digger, she wanted to leave and so when she asked the man to pay her, the man had no money, what happened then? The woman decided to steal as the guy slept. Unluckily the guy was pretending to be overtaken by dizziness and suddenly hell broke loose.

The episode left me with many questions. I felt bad because why should such beautiful, energetic ladies dislike themselves to extremes of making themselves appear like the sausages and samosas that are sold by the road side? We don’t tolerate violence but why can’t such women whose target is to hook men for money toil and get their blessed money? Nkt! 

Ladies, I understand your predicament, may be some of you who rush  to such options have children to think about, the house to meet the rents and so many other things. Some of you maybe had marriages that never worked and that rendered you to have no taste of life. You became rebellious and thought the best you can do is to care for nothing but to do anything that can bring money to sustain you.

But am sorry to say this to you ladies! Incessant pains will be your companion. Men are not idiots, they understand your target and you will always be the vessel of blame. Imagine spending a night with a man; he uses you but finally when you insist for your money, kicks and blows pay the price. Do you know such a man hates you and in front of his eyes you are an enigma? and now that you have satisfied him, what else is he supposed to do? To kick you out with no money. It’s a shame.

So what follows? You go crying, hating yourself and cursing him. With time you are okay, the pain abates and you land to your job again and the process continues. Please ladies, respect yourselves. Take me well ladies, I don’t mean all of you, but those who think men are the only source of money. I know some will hate what I say, but it’s better criticism with favor of help than praise when going astray. The truth hurts but ladies bear with me, I don’t hate you, but I hate the way you misuse your dignities. I hate the way you low yourselves. You are beautiful and please deviate in productive jobs, lest you will always be the victims slaps and kicks.

God blesses the work of our hands, I know more of such ladies have got potentials, will power to do Wonders that can make people marvel but fail to give themselves time to realize that. I know the diversities of each day’s life, make it hard for such ladies to tope, but I advise that every obstacle, every pain and tribulation a person encounters, it’s a challenge and that a new experience should be gained. Better hazard once than always be in fear of anxiety. Once you are humiliated by a man after he uses you, fine call it quits. Do not depress yourself for nothing) let life continue but look at the other side of the coin.

Weigh the risk and benefits of exchanging your body for money. Take a brave step forward and be determined that change is vital in your life. Once we change it’s a clear evidence that we are growing and that we are living.

I know each and every person has got his or her weakness and not unless you realize that change of behavior, it’s better than yourself. It’s only an individual that can transform himself or herself.

Ladies who sell their bodies take this as an advice, life wants more of you. You are alive because God loves you. So love yourself like God loves you. Change and God will show you the way out. Do not continue messing up with your life only to die of AIDS. Please, in all what you do, do not copy the behaviors of the world, but be a different person with newness in all ways. Learn from your own experiences about satisfaction that comes from inside you and not from anybody else. Do not let the society squeeze you into its bow, disfiguring you from the person God intended you to be. Remember ladies that every problem has in it the seed of its own solution, so once you fail in a particular time; do not sink to the roots of blame and hatred. Never sink to an abyss of despair, but instead cheer up and move on to something else. This is because excessive self-blame blocks our way to success and joy. When you keep on blaming yourself you will always find faults in you and make bad conclusions. Young ladies, take it easy, live like independent people. Make the best out of every challenge. Instill a new knowledge in you simply because the beauty of life is in the challenges we come across. Always be honest to your decisions and feelings and know it’s always easy to rise up again once you are defeated and I am sure men won’t have the golden chance to manipulate you. They will respect you and trust me; those merciless beatings, shame and abuses will abate.

Complied by Susan



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