IS SORRY JUST ENOUGH?

 By CAROLINE ONG’AYO

when i was a little kid every time i did something wrong and my parents or siblings will tell me to say sorry and i would say it vaguely just to get them off my back. well it always worked, literally. But know as an adult this five letter word makes a lot of sense to me more than it did way back.

why do we say sorry in the first place? i mean why not just ignore everything after all the deed has already happen and saying sorry wouldn’t really change a thing right? but there is something that comes with just saying “am sorry” its like a relief from a cage, you free yourself from any guilt and blame its more of liberal.

how often do we say sorry? do we even get to apologize for things that we did wrong and nobody complained about them or we just say sorry to things people see and complain about. there is this cliche that a person who apologizes first is seen weak emotionally that is, and it has left so many relationship broken, families growing a part and allowing the villain pride to take over the peoples mind and heart.

unfortunately i have fallen a victim of this ” pride” i recently hurt someone i care so much about and all my efforts of trying to ” apologize” didn’t quite pay off. i mean i said the word sorry so many times until i could here it ringing in my head. and i got so mad when he completely refused to forgive me and i was like ” what the hell do you want me to do i have said sorry already why don’t you just put it behind us and move on ” hahaha well i couldn’t say it to his face though but i felt that he was being unfair to me.

despite my efforts to ask for forgiveness i wasn’t forgiven and it’s sad and painful however, i came to learn something that not all the time you ask for forgiveness you are forgiven the world doesn’t work that way. so sometimes we may be forgiven and at times not and it’s the choice of the person who you offended to make. it doesn’t really matter what type of mistake you did, be it small or huge literally, a mistake is a mistake.

how should i say sorry? that’s a question you need to ask yourself , people apologize in different ways some buy flowers, chocolates, buying present and taking the person out for a treat. well that’s lovely and sweet but the question should be how should my apologies be? well first of all, it should be sincere and honest you should show remorse and that you aren’t willing to repeat the mistake again. make a little more effort to win their trust back or to let them know they can count on you again.

if you want to apologize to someone ensure that the apology isn’t subjective for instance when you are apologizing for making someone to be late don’t say ” am sorry i made you to be late for the job interview ,,,,, in stead put the focus on the person say ” Am sorry you were late for your interview because of me ,,’” this sounds more sincere than the first one. also avoid the use of buts don’t justify your apology that means you aren’t truly sorry and you are just apologizing to like let the whole issue die. an example is ” am sorry i cheated on you but you know you don’t have time for me and blur blur blur” this isn’t an apology but a justification of your actions.

why should i apologize? whats the importance of offering an apology to someone? the first thing sorry does to any person is it gets rid of the guilt you feel. it frees you from being indebted to the person you have offended. its a sign of respect and a way of being empathetic to the person you wronged and its showing that relation is more important than EGO. the first step to healing after making a mistake is by apologizing and there is no better way than saying ” am sorry” it helps you to heal and to have thwe will to start over again. saying ” sorry ” means you are taking responsibility of your actions and that you aint trying to find someone to put blames on.

now is the time to make a change.

Often times those two simple words are worth more than a lifetime of excuses and explanations.

Choose the path of humility. Choose the path of healing. Choose love above pride. Choose to apologize. just say “AM SORRY”