By Muggy Warima
The period between September and December 2015 marked my last long holiday in Campus so I decided to take that time to enjoy my last few days of freedom without responsibility. Besides all the companies I had applied for internships were either asking for 2 years’ experience or were not willing to part even with a small stipend for my services. This is a humble request to all employers in Kenya, please be kind enough to university students who are applying and working for you. It is extremely tasking to wake up early enough to beat the morning traffic along Thika Road, do all the day’s job assigned to me as an intern and run errands for senior employees (like bringing their coffee which God forbid, I trip and fall I will not be in a position to afford to replace coz I am as broke as hell) not to mention having to deal with a mean supervisor’s mood swings only for you write me a recommendation as a way of expressing gratitude at the end of the three months’ period. If that is not as mean as Donald Trump mimicking a physically handicapped journalist on national television, then I do not know what is. They need at least lunch and fare back home. For the organizations that are compensating their interns, the likes of KPMG, Unilever, Safaricom even in the smallest of ways I salute you. Back to my point, this specific period I had a lot of free time in my hands so besides engaging in a few income generating activities, I decided to catch up on movies. There is one that caught my eye, although it is a reality show and not a movie. It is called and ‘Love and Hip Hop’
For those who have no clue what this is, sit tight and be patient. I will bring you up to speed. First what you need to know there are a number of different editions for this reality show; there is the Atlanta Edition, New York Edition, Hollywood Edition and other spin-offs such as Chrissy and Mr Jones. So this reality program is basically an exhibition of the lives of upcoming hip hop artistes, their families, their careers and their relationships with other key stakeholders in the hip hop industry. I say upcoming artistes because I had never heard about most of the characters in the program before. For the hip hop enthusiasts, have you ever heard of a name like ‘Erica Mena’ before? I would guess not. Why bring to your attention this specific program? That is the main subject of this article. The kind of trashy behaviour displayed by the women in this program is disgusting. These women are always fighting for one thing or the other. And I don’t mean exchange of words, I am talking slaps, scratching nails, pulled out weaves, rolling on the floor punching each other, obscene words that would give Ezekiel Mutua a heart attack. The reasons for these fights are usually men or gossip. Some of the male artistes in this program have up to like four baby mamas at one point in time. Then when a new girl comes and the artiste starts showing interest, the latest baby mama cannot have that so she ends up beating the new girl to pulp. Or there a group of three female friends, the one of them confides in another about the third friend but instead of the confidant shutting up, she runs her mouth to the third friend. Vuala!!! What a good recipe for a cat fight. In the end, I only watched two seasons and I got tired waiting and expecting for things to change
I know most people will be quick to say that “oh that is a scripted thing and don’t believe everything you watch…” but that is not my point. This kind of behaviour not only exists in scripted TV shows because I have seen sane grown women in this country behaving the same way. There are women who are so bitter with their own lives that they want to bring others to their level, I mean misery loves company. They pick on others for no apparent reason and try to make everything a competition. If they see Jane has bought a pretty turquoise (I guess I lost some gentlemen here, this is a colour by the way) leather bag on Instagram, they will go get one of the same make and probably with more details than that of Jane. Their friendship is exhausting because every time they want to paint a negative picture of you so that they can feel good about themselves. Some of them are so toxic that they would blame you for their misfortunes which resulted from their bad decisions. Some will even talk to your man behind your back and when he ignores them, they will go right ahead and blame you. Dare you break up that friendship, they will badmouth you to everyone who cares to listen. I don’t know who made some women the judge of others but you will hear them shout the loudest when a fellow woman is in trouble. Why do you care about Caroline Mutoko’s personal life?? Is she your relative? If not, then why don’t you invest your efforts in learning the tips that made her as successful as she is. Why do you feel the need to pick on Njoki Chege’s personality? You don’t agree with her posts, that is fine. But instead of badmouthing her, why don’t you learn to write as well as she does?
My point is we as women need to focus on the important things in life Let us get not obsessed in the side shows that are meaningless and add little value to our lives. Instead of feeling jealous and trying to compete with other women, befriend one another in a genuine way and learn all you can from each other. On this note, anyone who knows Justice Njoki Ndung’u and is willing to introduce me to her, I would really appreciate. This type of ‘mean girl’ behaviour is what cost Clinton the US Presidency, the 66% White females that voted for Trump are the reasons why Obama Care which supports Planned Parenthood stands at a great risk of being defunded as from February 10th but that is a story for another day.
If you are that woman who is always genuinely happy for other women success and never allow yourself to be consumed in the world’s hatred, petty drama and silly fights, tag yourself because you are fly.
Hey talk to Muggy through: firstname.lastname@example.org