Narrated by Wr. Rumona Apiyo.
But bae, who am I to you? …….are you sure?
You know that feeling that you have sometimes, you don’t have any empirical evidence but you are surely convinced you are not alone. Not that she/he behaves weirdly, no. Even if you sneak to their phone, you only get communication from the family members. Even Whatsapp has nothing substantial. But still, you know, you are not alone. Even when they agree to treat you, you just await and see…but still, deep down you know you are many.
My 2nd year at the University of Nairobi was more of an “emotional bootcamp” than it was academic. Even my transcript could collaborate with my sentiments. On that year’s valentine’s day, My friends’; Daggy and Chalo were preparing to surprise their girlfriends with gifts and I, just like any other normal boy who wanted to fit in also wanted to surprise my Bae. The thing is my Bae didn’t know that she was my Bae.
I found myself in that situation after she had broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years. I didn’t know if I had been promoted from my position of a side nigga to the prestigious docket of main nigga. My status was unconfirmed and I didn’t want to inquire lest my cochlea receive information it didn’t wish to hear. All I knew was that I loved her. I really did coz despite her ever boring stories; I still enjoyed spending time with her. The contents of her pelvic areas however enjoyed anonymity with regards to my knowledge. We had never achieved mating
Daggy, Chalo and I left for Nakumatt Lifestyle, shopped for gifts and went back to campus. As the evening drew near, my pals had scattered to the locations of their better halves to showcase their affection. I didn’t want to be left behind either so I left my room to go and see “bae’’ despite the fact that I tried calling her 4 times, all which went unanswered.
The path between hall 7 and box (the ladies hostels) would play host to a young man’s utter determination in pursuit of affection. A journey in which I dangled a bouquet of scented hibiscus in one hand and suspended a red gift bag bearing chocolates and a teddy bear in the other, while quietly humming to Mariah Carrey’s song “Ohh Baby, Baby, Baby we belong togetheeer”, not only to set the mood, but to also pump some confidence to my now fragile bravado. “Come back baby please come, we belong together” I continued humming as I drew nearer to her hostel
As I was just about to check in at their hostel’s desk, I heard Bae’s ever heart-warming laugh from a distance. She was walking out of the hostel, her hand firmly tethered to another niggas phalanges. A nigga whose face was all too familiar; a nigga who just about 2 months back had found me in her room about to watch a movie with her and she had to chase me out, then jointly munch the chicken I’d bought for us. The nigga whom she had supposedly separated with. That matafaka had been reinstated
I could not run away as they had seen me already so I guessed another imaginary lady’s name and room number, said hi to them and went inside to see my Imaginary Bae. I loitered in the corridors for some 10 minutes, with my flowers, teddy bear n chocolate to buy enough time until I was sure they’d left the checking in/out desk. I then checked out.
With a heavy heart, I traced the paths leading back to my room. One of my pals saw me come and greeted me ‘’ehh Didier (they used to call me Didier after Drogba), ehh Didier, naona ni upendo tu, sasa hizi gifts unapelekea mrembo. “ . I looked him straight in the eyes and felt the need to pour out, to have someone to talk to. “napelekea mrembo wapi? Imagine Hizi nimenunuliwa na mrembo na ata sikuwangi nime-mfeel. Yeye alikuwa ana-hope nitaspend vale na yeye na mimi sikuwa nimepanga hivyo. Nimechukua tu gifts juu alikuwa ashaninunulia’’ I replied authoritatively. Had I known that I was to indirectly buy MY OWN valentines gift, I’d have picked something more manly than chocolates and a teddy bear. Ma niggas, If a lady hasn’t confirmed your position, don’t overstep your mandate this valentines. Trust me….u can’t eat the chocolates with the boys
